The Missing Month
by Fledgling
Summary: [Code Geass R2, spoilers] C.C., Suzaku, Lelouch. Rats in a maze. Planning for the announcement that will change the world. Emotions run high. Suzaku POV.


Suzaku was full of questions, constantly full of questions. His eyes followed C.C. accusingly whenever he caught her at Lelouch's side, judging the distance between them, judging the way her hand rested lightly on the armrest of Lelouch's golden throne. She would always look back with half-lidded eyes, eyes that were unimpressed at this passionate boy of a man, though Suzaku and Lelouch were the same age. Still, it seemed she was far more dismissive of Suzaku than she was of Lelouch, though somehow Suzaku sensed that it was in response to his questions.

After their first official "audience" with Emperor Lelouch- it was something of a rehearsal, though Lelouch didn't give up the airy flair of royalty, not even for a moment- C.C. and Suzaku headed off to their respective chambers, walking through a dimly-lit, lushly carpeted hallway. Various paintings hung along the walls, many of them naturalistic scenes from Britannian parks. There were a few Royal portraits here and there; some of them were clearly archaic, because they were protected by a layer of glass and seemed to hold dust in every single stroke of dried paint.

"Your room is here," Suzaku said, gesturing towards a door on his right. It was differentiable from his room only by the painting that hung to the left of her door. C.C. smiled and approached it, slowly turning the knob with a pale hand. He caught an expression of amusement on her face; unbeknownst to Suzaku, C.C. was considering the implications of Lelouch's assigning her a new room. Certainly Lelouch had not been ashamed to give up his custom orthopedic bed of the highest quality Egyptian sheets to her every night; but now that Suzaku was here, did he have some appearances to keep? Amidst her musings, C.C. could sense Suzaku staring at her and she turned as she entered her room, returning his intense gaze.

"Goodnight, Suzaku."

He hesitated, then said, "Goodnight, C.C."

As she drew her door closed Suzaku imagined the last of her pale eyes peeking out from between the narrowing crack. Suzaku breathed, and entered his own appallingly clean room; as the first act of minute defiance against Lelouch's preparations, he took off his new Knight of Zero outfit and tossed it onto the bed.

* * *

><p>There were still many preparations to be made before the "televised version" of Lelouch's coup d'etat would be ready. Lelouch was everywhere at once. He had two laptops and a third monitor set up in his room so he could maintain as omniscient a view as possible of world affairs. Ever-continuing was the research on Geass, though C.C. seemed entirely impassive, and not at all guilty. Suzaku noted that Lelouch seemed entirely indifferent to the fact that C.C. had betrayed him, and voiced this to Lelouch while they reclined in the garden.<p>

"Ah, but C.C. answers my questions now," Lelouch responded, hair wet and gleaming under the sun. "But she does not provide any information other than what I ask for, and there are things even C.C. does not know."

Lelouch's hair was wet from a fall into the pond in the garden. Lelouch had said that he used to play in that pool when he was a child, and recalled it was definitely taller than his young self; since he felt like he needed a break, Lelouch called Suzaku out to the garden. Suzaku, however, took a long time coming and in his boredom, Lelouch took a bold step into the pond, only to find that it was even deeper than he could have ever imagined. Lelouch's jacket lay drying on the grass. Luckily the sun was warm.

A fat rabbit hopped across the wet grass and Lelouch reached an open palm towards it, a mild expression on his face.

"And you, Suzaku? How are you enjoying your life in the palace?" Since regular Lelouch became Emperor Lelouch, he spoke with a loftiness in his tone that still made Suzaku slightly uncomfortable; it was something he was only used to hearing from people like Gino and Charles.

Suzaku found the mundane question a surprise, coming from Lelouch. "I am… content," he said. "But… the worst is yet to come. I am ready."

Lelouch's face turned grave and sad as he heard Suzaku's serious words. "I was not asking you that," he said gently, finally giving up on the bunny, which refused to be coaxed and remained stationary at a particularly delicious patch of grass. "I simply…"

"This time is a serious time," Suzaku said with gravity. "I cannot be lighthearted now, with the thought of what is to come on my mind."

Lelouch lifted his eyes to the sky. "Indeed, Suzaku, darker days are yet to come. We must be ready for them."

At his words, Suzaku was suddenly struck by a sharp and bitter sadness. Copying Lelouch, he, too, raised his eyes to the cerulean heavens and followed the smooth slide of a group of cumulus clouds across the sky, seeking contentment for a few brief moments.

They didn't sit in the garden for long before the beautiful white clouds blocked the sun and the wind became abruptly cold. Lelouch shivered slightly and drew himself up, picking up his coat from the grass and shaking it. "Let's go," Suzaku, Lelouch said. "The cooks should have prepared dinner."

Suzaku followed Lelouch up into the palace and as they entered through the open porch door, Suzaku saw several Geassed guards. He felt a sudden pang of empathy and stopped and stare at the guard in the eye; however, the guard did not respond to Suzaku's stare and Suzaku continued on, following after Lelouch's white form.

* * *

><p>Suzaku spent a lot of time with Lelouch during the preparatory two weeks before the planned television airing, eventually causing his questions for his first best friend to disappear. They never talked about Euphie, or Marianne, or former emperor Charles, or the Black Knights, or the Knight of Seven. They never talked about Kallen, either, though easy conversations about the days at Ashford had come up once or twice. Suzaku spent much time with Lelouch in the library study. It was where Lelouch went when he was not working- sometimes he went outside. Lelouch's room was mostly his office; it was where Emperor Lelouch worked and occasionally slept, and nothing else. Once, Suzaku came into the library study in search of a new book to find Lelouch grinning amusedly at Milly on the weather channel.<p>

"I don't understand," Lelouch said, as Suzaku approached, "Why she chose this profession."

Suzaku stared at Milly on the TV. "She should have chosen something better."

"With all that potential, she should have opted for a much more challenging job," Lelouch murmured, something other than his flattery implied in his tone. "Instead of opting for a position that a fellow noble offered her, even if it was acceptable to her." He looked at Suzaku suddenly. "Is she still engaged to Lloyd?"

Suzaku shrugged. "I should think so. Lloyd never says anything about Milly unless there's a social engagement of some kind and she happens to be there." Lelouch raised an eyebrow. "Cecile complained to me about it," he explained somewhat sheepishly.

Lelouch laughed. "How interesting."

Finished with the weather forecast for the week, the image changed to reveal a live report on a typhoon in the south-east, Milly's voice expressively continuing on in the background.

Suzaku decided to sit down in one of the massive, masculine armchairs for a while. He still felt like he was biding his time unnecessarily, but he wasn't sure he wanted the future to come more quickly either.

* * *

><p>Although Suzaku slept in the room opposite to C.C., he rarely saw her; when he did see her, it was often at night. His room was spacious, but he still found it extremely stuffy and confined in the darkness; so he would open several windows, allowing cool drafts in, and he would leave his door open.<p>

Suzaku's hearing was even better at night than during the day. Its sensitivity seemed to increase when he was in bed; out of paranoia or simply exceptional alertness, Suzaku didn't know. The first time he heard a movement outside his door he hopped up with perfectly silent stealth and peered through the crack in his door to find it was only C.C., looking like a ghost. She was barefoot and dressed scandalously: in only her bra and underwear. She walked out of his line of sight, in the direction of the main portion of the palace- they were in the left wing, or the guest wing- and did not come back until early morning. Suzaku only knew this because he was again woken by the sound of her door creaking open, though at this time he'd already closed his own door. Either the rooms in this palace were not very soundproof, or Suzaku was psychic.

That was the first night Suzaku saw C.C. at night. He still couldn't erase the sense of inner conflict he felt whenever he saw C.C.; her inscrutable eyes disallowed Suzaku from reading them and executing judgments. It bothered him, the fact that C.C. was an enigma; it bothered him more not understanding the bond between C.C. and Lelouch, as if he was missing out on something vital. He knew that she had stood by when he was acting as Zero of the Black Knights. But Suzaku had always thought he had Lelouch down to a T as Zero, and now he saw that was wrong. Not only that, but hadn't C.C. betrayed Lelouch? Why didn't Lelouch care? His network of perceptions had started crashing down on him since the day Lelouch killed his parents, and it was not a comfortable feeling, especially when coupled with the stagnancy of being in wait for the rest of the world to collapse.

The puzzle of what C.C. did at night bothered him for several days, though it didn't happen the subsequent night. In a way, it was a welcome relief to puzzle about this instead of thinking about phantom worries as he struggled to fall asleep at night. His first few theories bordered on the ridiculous: she was contacting the Black Knights; she was hungry; she wasn't human so she didn't sleep; she was visiting Lelouch. This last one Suzaku dismissed for no clear logical reason. It simply didn't seem like a possible answer, that C.C. and Lelouch were a couple. "C.C. and Lelouch…" Putting their names together made it even weirder, and Suzaku laughed quietly at himself.

Two nights after Suzaku's initial observation, C.C. disappeared again. But this time, she returned with another object. Suzaku could hear the distinct squeak of cardboard and it wasn't until she closed the door that he caught the logo on the box and the faintest, barest whiff of something cheesy.

So it turned out that his second theory, "she was hungry" wasn't too bizarre after all.

Mystery solved. It was a quick and easy ending, which Suzaku liked. But what he didn't like so much was how his mind reverted back to what it had been doing before: recycling, reusing, reiterating memories, looping them again and again and again in his mind until he could no longer tell which face of Lelouch's was more familiar to him: the one of now, or the one of before, when he and Nunnally had just been betrayed and Lelouch wanted revenge.

* * *

><p>There was only five days remaining until the televised announcement. Five days. Lelouch briefly explained the updated plan to Suzaku, and Suzaku nodded. No rehearsal would be necessary. They were on the same wavelength.<p>

C.C. stood in the corner of the throne room and said nothing. She looked, if Suzaku was reading right, a little sad.

Lelouch didn't seem to see her and stood up abruptly, the edges of his white robe sweeping. He adjusted the white cap on his head. "I'm tired, Suzaku." Suzaku was surprised by the sudden statement and even more surprised as Lelouch promptly stepped off the stage and headed towards his room. He looked at C.C., who followed Lelouch's progress with her eyes.

Suzaku had a sudden thought that Lelouch, like himself, was possibly experiencing a little denial.

They'd had many matter-of-fact discussions about what was going to happen next. Their conversations had been so heavy and Suzaku could remember every word that'd been said, every gesture that had been made. Perhaps deep down he could sense what Lelouch was doing; he couldn't express agreement or disagreement, satisfaction or even dissatisfaction- it was simply the only way. "I will erase the name of the massacre princess from peoples' memories…" Lelouch had said. "Lelouch, you would-" Suzaku had asked.

This was atoning for sins. Really? Was this how it was? Suzaku had thought that paying for such enormous mistakes would be more painful, but he was oddly calm, despite the realization that this was momentous. Suzaku had grown up feeding on guilt to survive. He felt like he was feeding on it still. Masochistically, Suzaku imagined that Lelouch's "Live" command was a severe but suitable punishment. How many times had he wanted to just die and give up and leave all the responsibility to the world? To Lelouch, perhaps? And Suzaku, knowing the expanse of Lelouch's intellect, wondered if Lelouch's Geass to "Live" was something of divine punishment already- maybe Lelouch knew that it would not do to die. Maybe he knew that Suzaku would like to take that easy way out. Maybe by telling others to live, Lelouch was giving out advice that he was forcing himself to apply, too. Lelouch would not let himself die, for the responsibility that he had to take.

Otherwise, Suzaku thought darkly, shouldn't Lelouch have killed himself when the news about Nunnally came? Then again, Lelouch was not like Suzaku. From the start, he'd been fighting for a new life.

There was an ache in Suzaku now that he'd managed to keep back for the past few days, by some miracle method that he didn't know. It must have been the pressure of knowing that their day was coming. Thinking about death reminded Suzaku of C.C., and he looked back into the corner where she'd been only to find that she was not there. Suzaku stood alone on the empty stage and fought the burn in his chest with a stoic dignity. And then, with an enormous amount of effort, he rehearsed the positive associated with all this.

"That is why," he reminded himself amidst the battle of darkness in his heart, "I have decided not to kill Lelouch."

* * *

><p>Suzaku now slept even less well than he had been sleeping before. In his insomnia, he noticed C.C.'s behaviour during the night had become inconsistent. As the anticipation and stress rose, C.C. left her room every night. Suzaku did not mean to spy, but she was noisy; unlike before, she was leaving her room with more urgency and she didn't come back until dawn, which, for Suzaku, was when he was most conscious.<p>

"She's only hungry," he told himself several times. But when C.C. came back in the morning without a pizza box and without the scent of cheese, Suzaku found himself puzzling over her again.

The next night- the third night in the countdown- he went over the theories again, using them as distractions: she was contacting the Black Knights; she was hungry; she wasn't human so she didn't sleep; she was visiting Lelouch. He dismissed the last one instantly, and dismissed the second one too, with some reluctance. That left: she was contacting the Black Knights; she wasn't human so she didn't sleep. "Come on!" Suzaku whispered to himself. He had to have better ideas than that.

It was approaching midnight and he heard C.C. padding down the hall to her room. He could hear her breathing. She really wasn't making any effort to disguise what she was doing. Then again, why would anyone care? Not even Lelouch-

At the appearance of his best friend's name in his mind, Suzaku came abruptly to the conclusion.

C.C. was sleeping with Lelouch.

It was so simple. Why had Suzaku been denying it earlier? He beat himself up mentally and turned over on his side, reaching his arms forward. It was such an obvious answer.

Despite that, Suzaku could not help but feel a little uncomfortable and betrayed. He hadn't realized it, but he'd been relying on C.C.'s seemingly constant essence of mystery to provide some balance to his upside-down world. He couldn't do that anymore. Not only that, but the questions he had for her- the conflict she brought into his consciousness by her existence- not only remained, but were multiplied.

There was only a few more days to wait. Suzaku could handle it.

* * *

><p>Two days left until the announcement. The tension between the three of them was high, incredibly high.<p>

Suzaku did not sleep at night at all now. As highly disciplined as he was, Suzaku could not control the growing nocturnal tendency. He slept during the day in the even-more-stuffy library study, a book open in his lap. Lelouch never visited that room now, instead preferring to sit at the edge of the pond in the garden. Occasionally he took a horseback ride around the grounds.

C.C. was the same as usual: elusive and useless. Suzaku tacked on the last adjective in his irritation and stress.

When he wasn't sleeping, he was with Lelouch in Lelouch's bedroom/office reading the Geass reports that Lelouch now passed freely to Suzaku when Suzaku asked for them. Suzaku's preparations, in comparison to Lelouch's, were simple, and watching Lelouch work so furiously made Suzaku's life seem slow and relaxed.

During the two weeks of Lelouch's unofficial ascension to "Emperor", Lloyd and Cecile had come under Lelouch's control, as had many others working in the palace. Suzaku had been exceptionally relieved to know that Lelouch had not Geassed either Lloyd or Cecile. Lloyd was happily his usual eccentric self though even he had come under the nervous spell of all those within the palace. Suzaku came down to check on Lancelot, which had gone through several exceptional upgrades in the past two weeks.

"I have re-written the startup sequence," Lloyd began, and continued his announcement with a stream of technical jargon. Cecile smiled at Suzaku. "- so it will start up even faster than before," she finished simply. Suzaku nodded and smiled at Cecile- actually, he understood what Lloyd was saying, and Cecile didn't need to clarify.

Suzaku went through the report of the Lancelot again as Lloyd chattered cheerfully on. He felt a desire to test it out; but now was not the time. Lancelot, though now frequently used, was still considered a "special weapon" in the sense that it was the only Knightmare frame within the Knightmare repertoire to undergo such extremely advanced technological upgrades at such consistency. At this point Lloyd was now complaining about Rakshata in a stream of curses and flying spit. Cecile stood in a safely distanced spot and did not bother attempting to pacify Lloyd.

"- took back the Guren when I was on the verge of a brilliant breakthrough-" Lloyd cried.

"Yes, terrible of her!" Cecile said, nodding absently.

Suzaku excused himself. The day was almost over; tomorrow would be the final in the countdown, and then-

Suzaku turned a corner and entered his room. Today had deepened into dusk considerably fast, but the sky was still bright, illuminated by moonlight. It filtered through Suzaku's window to throw ominous light ray patterns on his bed. He pulled the curtains violently shut and sank into his enormous Emperor-sized bed, ill at ease.

He heard the creak of C.C.'s door and he, perhaps a little crazed, did not bother keeping quiet as he walked to his partly open door and looked out. C.C. turned to look at him, emerald green eyes glowing faintly in the shadows. He stared cautiously at her.

And then, to his abrupt surprise, she headed towards him, dragging an enormous yellow pillow.

* * *

><p>C.C. stood in his doorway, dressed in only her underwear and bra. At first Suzaku thought she was sleepwalking, but the moment the thought crossed his mind, it was replaced by his own voice, repeating, "She's not human... she's not human..." Suzaku looked at the yellow thing in her hand; with a blink, he recognized the smiling face of the Pizza Hut mascot.<p>

"What are you doing?" Suzaku demanded. Normally, in a situation like this- not that it was a normal situation- Suzaku would have averted his eyes and gone to find her some means of covering herself, but C.C. made him angry. Her inhumanity made her indecency unsurprising. What was she was doing?

"I'm talking to you," C.C. replied, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Suzaku shook his head in disbelief. "It's late," he said. "You should be in bed." C.C. only shrugged and stepped into his room, which caused Suzaku's temper and confusion to flare. "Not really," C.C. said. She lifted the Pizza Hut mascot- Cheese-kun, Suzaku now recalled- into her arms and looked at him with steady eyes. "I was wondering if I could sleep in here."

Taken aback, Suzaku just stared. In that single gesture of cuddling her plushie, C.C. had changed from an enigmatic witch to a single, lonely girl. He hesitated. Then his eyes narrowed in determination and a question jumped from his lips:

"Why did you betray Lelouch?"

With that question came a million others, all tumbling forward in their desperation to be answered. "Why didn't you tell him about Marianne? Why did you let him start the Rebellion?" Suzaku voice rose. "Why did you give him the Geass?"

C.C.'s eyes darkened as his questions tumbled forward. "All valid questions," she said solemnly. "But I have no answers. I'm sorry."

Suzaku's eyes flashed. "I'm not like you," he said. "I don't want to die at the expense of others."

C.C. sighed. "You haven't lived as long as I have." How could he understand the craving for an end to things?

"So?" Suzaku asked, voice strained. "Why would you stand there and let him destroy? You knew everything. Why-" Suzaku roared, terrifying in his fury. C.C. seemed to cower slightly. "And why- why has Lelouch forgiven you?"

C.C. met Suzaku's gaze evenly. "You are trying to put all the blame on me. And, as I said, Suzaku: all valid questions. However," at this she paused, "I have no answer that would satisfy you."

Suzaku had heard this before. His shoulders slackened visibly, and he swallowed the bile in his throat, looking fiercely down at his feet. He seemed to be working to hold himself still, to maintain an illusion of control. C.C. watched his efforts disinterestedly; she'd seen this type of person before. Ones with this kind of character always led themselves into regretful places, and Kururugi Suzaku was no exception. His ideals would kill him. After a long pause, with Suzaku unstable, and C.C. patient, Suzaku asked,

"Are you sleeping with him?"

C.C.'s laughter instantly filled up the room. She looked at him, amused. "Would you prefer it that way?" she asked. Suzaku blinked, unsure of how to respond. His anger had not abated, however, and it took a great effort to hold himself back from injuring her somehow; with Kallen, it had been much easier. Physical threats had a meaning. Suddenly realizing the destructive spiral of his thoughts, Suzaku cleared his mind and further strengthened his effort to clarify his mind. But somehow it wasn't working.

"Give up, Suzaku," C.C. said, reading him effectively. "You don't want to learn anything new tonight."

She swayed towards Suzaku, Cheese-kun still clutched tight against her chest. Suzaku stood still and watched her face, which seemed to zoom large like a full moon. The silence between them stretched long and tense, and Suzaku's mind began asking repeatedly, "What am I doing? What is she doing?" Now C.C.'s eyes took up his vision. She looked up at him. Suzaku's rage had grown into something much fiercer, and he exhaled sharply.

"Goodnight, C.C.," he said, dismissively. C.C.'s eyes regarded his room. "Please," she said, not looking at him, not submissive, and walked diagonally away from Suzaku, heading straight towards his bed.

"Hey!" he exclaimed. "What are you doing?"

"May I sleep in here tonight?" C.C. said, already drawing the sheets over her body. Cheese-kun was positioned on her left. "I find it hard to rest in my room."

"Is that why you leave every night?" Suzaku asked.

"Sure," C.C. replied, her head muffled. Her green hair curled messily across the pillow and trailed off the edge of the bed. Suzaku approached her, and looked down at her slender form, which was curved in the fetal position. "Good night, C.C.," Suzaku said again.

* * *

><p>It was the last day before- before Lelouch and Suzaku would force the world to accept Lelouch as Emperor. Tomorrow was the day. All preparations complete, Lelouch wandered through the castle. He looked composed but Suzaku knew better. There was a hollowness to Lelouch's movements that Suzaku knew all too well. Whenever they made eye contact Suzaku would feel a gravity so great he could not look away. Madness was imminent. Suzaku had considered that perhaps he and Lelouch had officially gone mad, but who knew if that was the case.<p>

Lelouch was quite the master for theatrics. During the time that Lelouch had commanded the castle, he'd spent large efforts in discovering all the secret passageways and niches around the palace. There were a total of ten different exits and eleven entrances scattered throughout the castle; most of them could be booby-trapped, and were. All they required was the activation of numerous switches located all over the palace, which only the Emperor knew. There was a small space immediately above the throne that was designed for the Emperor to make his escape if need be; Lelouch willingly revealed this location to Suzaku and asked him to hide there for the ceremony. Suzaku was stunned.

"What?" he asked in shock. "Why, Lelouch?"

Lelouch was all seriousness. "You can jump down from there when it's time for your introduction. It isn't too high for you, is it?"

It wasn't, but…

"It's for cautionary measures as well," Lelouch drawled. "Suppose there are some angry nobles that object to my being Emperor. They'll certainly attack straight from the front. You counteracting from above gives us a firm advantage, does it not?"

"Aren't you going to Geass them?"

"I will, but it cannot be obvious, of course," Lelouch said.

Suzaku complied.

While heading for a walk around the gardens, Suzaku encountered C.C., leaning against the stone walls facing the forest. He paused before her. "C.C.," he said.

She had slept in his bed the night before, forcing Suzaku to stay awake. He found it awkward to go to C.C.'s room; so he slept on the large sofa on the other end, though only for a few hours before he was awoken by the sound of birds and roosters announcing the birth of a new day.

"Are you ready?" Suzaku asked somberly.

"Mm," came the reply. "You should worry about yourself." She looked at him. "Are you ready, Suzaku? Are you certain?"

"Shouldn't you," Suzaku questioned, "Be asking Lelouch that?"

"I know. It is the only way."

"Then that is the answer I will give you," Suzaku said. "It is the only way."

"Is it," C.C. mused, but said no further, looking into the distance.

* * *

><p>The night before the day that the world would end was here.<p>

Suzaku's Knight of Zero outfit was draped over the chair in front of the bathroom. Tonight, for the first time, Suzaku anticipated and hoped for some real rest. He had not expected to get any, but oddly enough, he felt an eerie calm, like he was in the eye of the storm, and the worst was over. Almost.

C.C. was lying in his bed, positioned starfish-style. Suzaku entered the room cautiously, but upon seeing her there, felt his stress, like stars, suddenly explode and rearrange into a calm madness. It was as if all the galaxy had become misaligned. Yet, the misalignment was perfect. Perfect, because a coup was about to happen. He undressed and climbed into the bed, ignoring the immoral witch. Her indecency made her seem, once again, so inhuman.

He felt an intense emotion towards it all, especially towards her, something intangible and nagging.

If he had wanted to be part of a battle, it would have been in the military, fighting as a team against a country who had hurt his people. Not like the hitman in a 3-man robbery. If he had wanted a woman in his bed, he would not have chosen her. If he had ever wanted C.C., it would not have been before Lelouch's crowning. But opportunities like this always chose the man, not the other way around.

"Only 10 hours left," C.C. announced quietly.

Suzaku sighed, lying on his back beside C.C. "I…" He looked at her out of the side of his eyes, where her breast seemed to glow in the dark room.

"It's a bit late to have regrets," C.C. continued, "but I sense that you have them." She seemed to be inviting him to talk. Suzaku felt no interest in a response. He stayed still and listened to the rustling of the sheets as she made herself comfortable. Something fell to the floor.

"Don't worry," C.C. said. "I don't know what Lelouch told you, but I won't ask you to love me."

Suzaku's eyes flashed open. "Do you love Lelouch?" he demanded.

C.C. took long to reply. "For a long time, I have not had a good answer for myself as to what love is, or how it's supposed to feel like," she murmured. "I don't want to be selfish anymore, you see."

Suzaku did not have time to contemplate what that meant, because his hands were on her thighs and his body was curving toward C.C. He didn't remember reaching for that pale skin. In response, his usual frustration bubbled inside him, striving for control of his limbs. "Why did you betray Lelouch?" Suzaku growled, and let his hands retreat off the plateau of her legs, ashamed of their betrayal.

C.C. looked sad.

"Tell him," Suzaku commanded, "That you don't love him."

C.C. laughed sharply. "I believe in him," she responded in a lilting voice that portrayed nonchalance, smiling faintly at him. She seemed to be present very faintly, as if only fifty percent of her soul existed. Every gesture of hers indicated a tough freedom; the way she moved her hair, the upward curve of her cheeks, the relaxed ease of her shoulders. In the dim, grainy light, Suzaku wanted sleep and the smell of her hair was appealing.

Suzaku gazed at her for several moments, and finally let his hands protect her pale body.

He could not believe in what she believed, though he followed the implicit command in her eyes anyway, like a true soldier would.

Suzaku lost all desire to separate himself from the beautiful maddening woman. They were all one unit, sharing the journey towards a broken and resurrected future.

* * *

><p>The day had arrived. Suzaku ignored C.C., who stood at the edge of the stage and watched Lelouch and Suzaku with genuine, visible anxiety. Suzaku nodded to Lelouch, then walked into a narrow hallway, into a staircase that led up to the space above the throne room. He crouched.<p>

He heard the indecisive and nervous chatter of the nobles as they arrived, and he sensed the tension in the air. He heard Lelouch come on stage; dressed in his Ashford Academy uniform for effect. He heard the question regarding what happened to Charles.

And then he heard Lelouch reply, "I killed him."

That was his cue.

* * *

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A/N: Thank you for reading!

I have to apologize if any of this was OOC or doesn't fit in with fandom. I am in the process of going through all my old writing and posting it. (Check the last time I posted in fandom for a clue at how long it's been!) I miss writing, so getting back into it by finishing old fanfic is making me really happy. But I can't remember what happened in the actual storyline anymore, so my final edits might be a bit off the mark. Sorry!


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